These days in the middle of winter can be very uninspiring. They can also be thrilling, and wonderful, and exciting, and beautiful. January is weird that way. Some days I feel ready to burst with creativity and inspiration and energy to do amazing things; other days, all I want to do is curl up and watch episode after episode of Northern Exposure.
|Read to me, Chris.|
Today has been one of those days. I've been in a funk all day long and haven't been able to accomplish anything of much value, so I decided, heck, let's write a blog post.
All day I've been trying to read, and getting distracted. I've been trying to write, and find myself crossing out every other word. I've been trying to be cheerful (well, I was this morning but then I kind of gave up, heh heh), and finding that it's actually easier to frown than it is to smile. Basically...I'm blue.
And I don't want to be.
Come to think of it, I always get this way in the wintertime. It usually only lasts a few days. Something about January gets me really excited and bores me out of my mind all at once. One minute I'm scribbling furiously at my latest writing project, and the next I'm lackadaisically eating popcorn and bemoaning to my mother the fact that I'm such a terrible writer and in general a terrible person and I basically can't do anything right.
Yup. This is what January does to me.
On the good days, I love winter. I love the white freshness, the brisk cold air, the chilly sense of possibility that comes with every new year. On the bad days, I just wish it was summer and I could go for a bike ride and release all my tension, or go jump in the creek, or run barefoot through a meadow. And on some days -- like this one -- I don't even know what I want!
(Actually, on days like today I feel like I could be a character on Northern Exposure.)
The purpose of this post is not to bother you all with my complicated emotions. ;-) I guess you could say the purpose is to try to restore some stability to my feelings right now, and the best way to do that would be a generous dose of the Happy Side of things right now, don't you think? Here's some things that make even the most confusing winter days something to smile about.
- ~ emails from friends -- you girls are the best. I really mean that. I don't know what I would do without you. :-)
- ~ beautiful and emotional soundtracks (I'm looking at you, Bruce Broughton)
- ~ making plans for my sister Sadie's 15th birthday this weekend! Now, that is something to look forward to. :-D
- ~ molasses cookies
- ~ Sara Evans' old songs, this one especially
- ~ beautiful, soul-tingling Bible verses -- I never get tired of Proverbs
- ~ my bunnies, who are ALWAYS cute ;-P
- ~ memories of last January, which I got through, and even think fondly on. That's a hopeful sign, I guess.
I guess that's all I needed to say. Strangely, I feel better now. :-) I hope y'all are holding your own this January, whether you're in snow-slogged Alaska or balmy, sunny Australia. Winter, this is a strange relationship we have going -- we'll be friends yet!
P.S. That's hilarious, I never say 'peace out'. I told you, I'm in a funk. ;-P