My life is basically a series of stories. Stories that have already happened, and stories that are going to happen somewhere down the road, and stories that are waiting to be told. I'm a story girl; I read them, I write them, and then I live them. It makes for a lot of stories. ;-)
They're not all happy stories. Some of them are, and I love to look back on them and remember what it was like to live that. Some of them you might look at and say, what did that even happen for? Or why on earth would anyone do that? What's the point?
I haven't figured out all my stories yet; mine or the people's around me. Sometimes they make me giddy with happiness. Sometimes they make absolutely no sense to me. Many times, I'd like to rewrite them, put in what I think should happen, and give happier endings. But there's only so much I can control; sometimes I feel like the characters in my head are the only ones I have any say over. It's easy because I tell them what to do, what to say, and I figure out where it's going to lead, and then when I write it down, there you have it -- it's all there, in order. A good story. But the only way life and fiction are the same is that one imitates the other. Fiction imitates life, life doesn't imitate fiction.
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by all the stories needing to be told around me -- the ones I'm living, the ones people around me are living, and the ones I'm feeling pressed to write. It's daunting, not gonna lie. Because living is complicated. You're constantly around other people, and people are complicated (and often plain-down stupid.) Sometimes it feels like someone jammed their head into the keyboard and messed up the entire plot of whatever story you think you're supposed to be living. It all goes crooked and you're left to wonder -- what happened? What's supposed to happen? What will happen?
I don't know, and chances are you don't know either. But in a moment of quiet peace, this is all I can come up with: God Is The Master Storyteller. Yes, with all the capital letters. He is the one who guides our steps, if we put away our human stubbornness long enough to let Him. His paths are best -- hasn't He shown us that? The stories I live, and the stories I make up inside my own little mind, why, they're just a gift from Him. He will show me my story when it's time, and from that, I'll be able to understand how to write the stories I yearn to bring alive.
Wow, this turned out to be way more contemplative than I thought. ;-) That's the thing about Me Writing a Blog Post -- I start writing thinking it'll go this way, and it loops in an entirely different direction. (Hey, isn't that what I was just talking about?)
Anyway. Stories. I've had a few in the last month. It's been awhile since I shared some of my life on The Blog, and I miss that. So here's my ever-faithful Awkward and Awesome, because there will allllways be awkward and awesome stories to tell. :-)
- when your sister helpfully points out that you've been wearing your skirt inside out the whole morning, when you've already been at church for about three hours. (Thank you, Sadie. What would I do without your help?) Moral of the story: don't get dressed in the dark.
- walking from the barn to the house with a big feed sack full of straw, imagining that the neighbors are watching from their windows and wondering what they might be thinking. No, I am not running away from home. These are not all my personal effects, this is just straw for my bunnies. What are you looking at?
- breaking into your cousin's locker at school to get something she forgot. Actually that wasn't hard at all. It's very easy to be a criminal when you know the lock combination.
- back to the bunnies: imagine you're putting handfuls of chaff into your bunny's cage, and suddenly you see a big milkweed pod. You pick it up by the stem -- but it's not a stem, it's a tail!!!! The cold, slithery tail of a dead mouse! Marilla, would you excuse me a moment? I have to check something outside...
- I could mention the Time I Went Skiing For the First Time Ever...but then again, we don't need to go there. (Besides, my mother specifically told me not to write a blog post about it, it was that bad. ;-P) Let's just put it this way: if you're at a ski resort you've never been to before, and you've never even been skiing before, don't assume you're going to be great at it right from the first. And don't underestimate the size of the place and think you can go wherever you want and your family will magically find you. Oh yeah, and those black diamond things on the signs? Those mean 'most difficult'. Trust me on this one. (Moral of that story: read the signs before you try to go down the slope.)
- when your sister starts massaging your bunny. That's awkward. She was reading a book on massage therapy, and I guess the bunny was the closest thing she had to practice on. The cat saw this and was immediately at the door asking to be let out.
- when you can't get your CD player to work and decide it must be junk, then pester your mother about getting a new one...and then a few days later find that it had only come unplugged. Hehe.
- when you start labeling all your journal entries 'June' instead of 'January' because the main character in the book you're writing is named June. I seem to remember this same thing happened last year...
- making good progress on your current writing project!!!! YUSSSS. (And yes, it happens to have a protagonist by the name of June.) I needed something like this to get my writing juices pumped again. Strangely, it seems like this time of year is when I get my best writing inspiration, which is weird because everybody knows January is the most boring month of the whole year. (In my neck of the woods, anyway.) I guess it takes being pent up for awhile to get my creative streak to fully come alive. ;-)
- a trip to the library with your mom in the Big Red Ford. :-) With yours truly driving, of course. I got to try out four-wheel drive, and our truck is old so you have to actually get out and turn the little thingys on the wheels, which for some reason was really cool. AND as a result of that trip I now have a whole pile of good books to be ingested.
- when you're sitting on your sister's bed writing and your cat -- who happens to be the most spectacular feline in the entire world -- leaps up and settles down next to you. Oliver is my writing buddy. It's great because all he does is lie there and sleep.
- when you get random, exciting ideas about things you'll do someday. Here's one such random idea: yesterday I imagined myself walking barefoot out to the mailbox at night to post a letter on a warm summer's evening, under the light of the moon. Doesn't that sound like fun? This may have been inspired by a scene in Buttermilk Sky, I admit. ;-)
There was a sense of freedom in daring to walk barefoot down the sidewalk in the middle of the night. Goodness, what might she do next? Throw away her lightly boned corset? Chew gum? Deliberately fail to indent a paragraph on her next typing test? Oh, the glory of doing the unexpected.
(Golly, I love this little book. :-))
- going to your favorite restaurant for your sister's birthday, and then watching Tim Hawkins parodies on the way home with her brand-new phone (which gets wi-fi anywhere and isn't that INCREDIBLE?) Then when we got home, being in the mood to laugh more, we watched an entire DVD of Tim Hawkins and I nearly hospitalized myself laughing so hard. The 'Christian cuss words' are what really killed me.
(EDIT: I have been informed by my ultra-savvy cousin that I am an idiot and my sister's phone does not get wi-fi everywhere, as that is in fact impossible. She has data (whatever that means) which is entirely different. I dunno.)
- when you have those moments where you realize: no matter what crazy things happen, God will take care of me. No matter where I go, or who I'm with, He'll be there just the same. I wish I had faith like that all the time. As it is, I can barely grasp it. But I think it's coming. I understand it better than I did a year ago.
- when you've been talking to your best friend so much you almost run out of things to tell her, but you still think of things to talk about. (That make any sense?)
- I had another one, but then my sister walked into the room and started talking to me and now I've forgotten what I was going to write. I'm telling you, my brain. *sigh* I was doing math with my mom the other day (which is like playing one of those computer games where everywhere you go there's a bomb underneath the ground ready to explode) and I was getting the problem all wrong (which is the norm). Mama, in desperation, said, "Why are you losing your brain???" "I DON'T KNOW".
No, I'm really not losing my brain. :-) It's here. It's just...um, got a mind of its own. Heh.
While I'm talking about random things, you probably noticed this blog has a new background! (Yes, I know, I keep changing it and it's really annoying and you're probably all rolling your eyes right now...let me explain.) I was lazily searching for blog backgrounds, and when I saw this one I stopped, blinked, and did a double take. Because this is the same background I once used, two years ago, and the moment I saw it I was immediately taken back to that time. It was one of my favorite blog looks, and I remembered it so fondly that I just had to use it again. :-)
|This is, like, use-all-my-favorite-pictures day.|
That's about all the rambling I have to do right. Having just watched Forrest Gump last night, it seems fitting I should end this post with this:
"That's all I have to say about that."
Have a good day, friends. :-)