Saturday, January 30, 2016

Awk & Awe // Stories waiting to be told


    My life is basically a series of stories. Stories that have already happened, and stories that are going to happen somewhere down the road, and stories that are waiting to be told. I'm a story girl; I read them, I write them, and then I live them. It makes for a lot of stories. ;-)

    They're not all happy stories. Some of them are, and I love to look back on them and remember what it was like to live that. Some of them you might look at and say, what did that even happen for? Or why on earth would anyone do that? What's the point?

     I haven't figured out all my stories yet; mine or the people's around me. Sometimes they make me giddy with happiness. Sometimes they make absolutely no sense to me. Many times, I'd like to rewrite them, put in what I think should happen, and give happier endings. But there's only so much I can control; sometimes I feel like the characters in my head are the only ones I have any say over. It's easy because I tell them what to do, what to say, and I figure out where it's going to lead, and then when I write it down, there you have it -- it's all there, in order. A good story. But the only way life and fiction are the same is that one imitates the other. Fiction imitates life, life doesn't imitate fiction. 

     I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by all the stories needing to be told around me -- the ones I'm living, the ones people around me are living, and the ones I'm feeling pressed to write. It's daunting, not gonna lie. Because living is complicated. You're constantly around other people, and people are complicated (and often plain-down stupid.) Sometimes it feels like someone jammed their head into the keyboard and messed up the entire plot of whatever story you think you're supposed to be living. It all goes crooked and you're left to wonder -- what happened? What's supposed to happen? What will happen?

     I don't know, and chances are you don't know either. But in a moment of quiet peace, this is all I can come up with: God Is The Master Storyteller. Yes, with all the capital letters. He is the one who guides our steps, if we put away our human stubbornness long enough to let Him. His paths are best -- hasn't He shown us that? The stories I live, and the stories I make up inside my own little mind, why, they're just a gift from Him. He will show me my story when it's time, and from that, I'll be able to understand how to write the stories I yearn to bring alive. 


     Wow, this turned out to be way more contemplative than I thought. ;-) That's the thing about Me Writing a Blog Post -- I start writing thinking it'll go this way, and it loops in an entirely different direction. (Hey, isn't that what I was just talking about?)

    Anyway. Stories. I've had a few in the last month. It's been awhile since I shared some of my life on The Blog, and I miss that. So here's my ever-faithful Awkward and Awesome, because there will allllways be awkward and awesome stories to tell. :-)

  • when your sister helpfully points out that you've been wearing your skirt inside out the whole morning, when you've already been at church for about three hours. (Thank you, Sadie. What would I do without your help?) Moral of the story: don't get dressed in the dark.

  • walking from the barn to the house with a big feed sack full of straw, imagining that the neighbors are watching from their windows and wondering what they might be thinking. No, I am not running away from home. These are not all my personal effects, this is just straw for my bunnies. What are you looking at?

  • breaking into your cousin's locker at school to get something she forgot. Actually that wasn't hard at all. It's very easy to be a criminal when you know the lock combination.

  • back to the bunnies: imagine you're putting handfuls of chaff into your bunny's cage, and suddenly you see a big milkweed pod. You pick it up by the stem -- but it's not a stem, it's a tail!!!! The cold, slithery tail of a dead mouse! Marilla, would you excuse me a moment? I have to check something outside...

  • I could mention the Time I Went Skiing For the First Time Ever...but then again, we don't need to go there. (Besides, my mother specifically told me not to write a blog post about it, it was that bad. ;-P) Let's just put it this way: if you're at a ski resort you've never been to before, and you've never even been skiing before, don't assume you're going to be great at it right from the first. And don't underestimate the size of the place and think you can go wherever you want and your family will magically find you. Oh yeah, and those black diamond things on the signs? Those mean 'most difficult'. Trust me on this one. (Moral of that story: read the signs before you try to go down the slope.)

  • when your sister starts massaging your bunny. That's awkward. She was reading a book on massage therapy, and I guess the bunny was the closest thing she had to practice on. The cat saw this and was immediately at the door asking to be let out.

  • when you can't get your CD player to work and decide it must be junk, then pester your mother about getting a new one...and then a few days later find that it had only come unplugged. Hehe.

  • when you start labeling all your journal entries 'June' instead of 'January' because the main character in the book you're writing is named June. I seem to remember this same thing happened last year...

  • making good progress on your current writing project!!!! YUSSSS. (And yes, it happens to have a protagonist by the name of June.) I needed something like this to get my writing juices pumped again. Strangely, it seems like this time of year is when I get my best writing inspiration, which is weird because everybody knows January is the most boring month of the whole year. (In my neck of the woods, anyway.) I guess it takes being pent up for awhile to get my creative streak to fully come alive. ;-)

  • a trip to the library with your mom in the Big Red Ford. :-) With yours truly driving, of course. I got to try out four-wheel drive, and our truck is old so you have to actually get out and turn the little thingys on the wheels, which for some reason was really cool. AND as a result of that trip I now have a whole pile of good books to be ingested.

  • when you're sitting on your sister's bed writing and your cat -- who happens to be the most spectacular feline in the entire world -- leaps up and settles down next to you. Oliver is my writing buddy. It's great because all he does is lie there and sleep.

  • when you get random, exciting ideas about things you'll do someday. Here's one such random idea: yesterday I imagined myself walking barefoot out to the mailbox at night to post a letter on a warm summer's evening, under the light of the moon. Doesn't that sound like fun? This may have been inspired by a scene in Buttermilk Sky, I admit. ;-)
     There was a sense of freedom in daring to walk barefoot down the sidewalk in the middle of the night. Goodness, what might she do next? Throw away her lightly boned corset? Chew gum? Deliberately fail to indent a paragraph on her next typing test? Oh, the glory of doing the unexpected.

(Golly, I love this little book. :-))
  • going to your favorite restaurant for your sister's birthday, and then watching Tim Hawkins parodies on the way home with her brand-new phone (which gets wi-fi anywhere and isn't that INCREDIBLE?) Then when we got home, being in the mood to laugh more, we watched an entire DVD of Tim Hawkins and I nearly hospitalized myself laughing so hard. The 'Christian cuss words' are what really killed me.
(EDIT: I have been informed by my ultra-savvy cousin that I am an idiot and my sister's phone does not get wi-fi everywhere, as that is in fact impossible. She has data (whatever that means) which is entirely different. I dunno.)

  • when you have those moments where you realize: no matter what crazy things happen, God will take care of me. No matter where I go, or who I'm with, He'll be there just the same. I wish I had faith like that all the time. As it is, I can barely grasp it. But I think it's coming. I understand it better than I did a year ago.

  • when you've been talking to your best friend so much you almost run out of things to tell her, but you still think of things to talk about. (That make any sense?) 

     Oh, Naomi, I love you. We are a pair, you and I. There is nothing really better than having a friend who understands you, knows all your weirdness, and still thinks you're awesome despite it all. :-)

  • I had another one, but then my sister walked into the room and started talking to me and now I've forgotten what I was going to write. I'm telling you, my brain. *sigh* I was doing math with my mom the other day (which is like playing one of those computer games where everywhere you go there's a bomb underneath the ground ready to explode) and I was getting the problem all wrong (which is the norm). Mama, in desperation, said, "Why are you losing your brain???" "I DON'T KNOW".
     No, I'm really not losing my brain. :-) It's here. It's, got a mind of its own. Heh.

    While I'm talking about random things, you probably noticed this blog has a new background! (Yes, I know, I keep changing it and it's really annoying and you're probably all rolling your eyes right now...let me explain.) I was lazily searching for blog backgrounds, and when I saw this one I stopped, blinked, and did a double take. Because this is the same background I once used, two years ago, and the moment I saw it I was immediately taken back to that time. It was one of my favorite blog looks, and I remembered it so fondly that I just had to use it again. :-)

This is, like, use-all-my-favorite-pictures day.

    That's about all the rambling I have to do right. Having just watched Forrest Gump last night, it seems fitting I should end this post with this:

"That's all I have to say about that."

    Have a good day, friends. :-)   


  1. Well, you know, that is what Mothers are for, to remind us to not share all our most awkward stories on blogs. ;) I can only imagine your ski story! Thanks for sharing! Love your thoughts and sentiments. Blessings, Lexi

    1. Lexi, that's true. ;-) At least I didn't go into detail...Aww, thanks! And thanks for commenting.

  2. This post was DELIGHTFUL. Let me drown into it.

    Gah, what you said about stories. Your way with words with unfair and gorgeous and talented. God IS a master story teller. He has it all in the palm of His hands, all the plots and stories of the millions of people on earth. I don't think I'll ever fully understand the extent of His guidance. Like you said, I wish I had faith in that all the time. I want to grow closer and closer with God as I grow older - because He IS amazing, and He is there. (That got deep. And this is in the COMMENTS.)

    OH MY GOODNESS. THE MOUSE ONE. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!!!!!! I would have died in shock.
    Heh. Heh. About the skiing. I find it hilarious that your mum told you not to write a blog post about it, because that sounds like exactly something MY mum would tell ME. (See, our mums are so friends.)

    I must read Buttermilk Sky.

    I know, yesterday when we missed each other (I'M SO UPSET WE DID) I was so disappointed because I had so much to tell you. We could talk all day. AYMEN. WE ARE A (somewhat nonsencial, but still cool) PAIR. I love you too, Emmster. :'-)

    (which is like playing one of those computer games where everywhere you go there's a bomb underneath the ground ready to explode)
    Genius. :-D

    ~ Naomi

    PS I loved this post.

    1. Your COMMENT was DELIGHTFUL. *pulls Naomi up so she doesn't drown*

      When I started this post, I had no idea all that was going to come out. I guess that's just what my heart needed to say. I'm glad it made sense. ;-P That's the thing, we CAN'T fully understand God and his ways, which is often so frustrating, but then you have these moments where you realize -- hey, this is actually the way it's supposed to be. And then it all makes sense. (Haha, "and this is just in the COMMENTS.")

      THE MOUSE. YES. That happened yesterday morning as I was cleaning Mont Royal (the bunnies' house). It freaked me pink.

      Yeah, sometimes I get that, from Mama or from one of my cousins (usually Peter) -- "You're not going to write a blog post about this, are you?!?" And then I usually go and do it anyway, because I'm a nasty person. ;-)

      YES READ BUTTERMILK SKY. Ohhhmygoodness. It was this time last year that I read it, so I find myself thinking about it lately, and OH MY is that such a sweet little book. I didn't love it back then, but I think I do now. It's sappy but adorable.

      I KNOW ME TOO. Really, I'm sorry about that. But we have today! And you can tell me everything you were going to tell me yesterday (because I'm DYYYING to hear it all). ;-)


      P.S. I loved your comment.

  3. I love all the photos you used :-) Especially the one with the highway and the full moon. It makes me think of road trips, and I LOVE ROAD TRIPS. They're the best vacation everrrrrrr.

    I also really do like your new blog background--it reminds me of a dress that I had once. It was linen. Ummmmmmm . . . er . . . I THINK it was linen. (I'm not too good at this stuff, hehe.)

    1. It was linen! A lovely linen summer dress. :)

    2. That must have been a beautiful dress! I agree, road trips are the BEST. :-)

  4. Haha. I just did a awkward plus awesome post. Such a cute blog!!!

  5. ...I made the mistake of clicking on your link to "Buttermilk Sky" (your review) with the comment box open...and of course, I lost my comment into oblivion. ;) Never mind, here we go again...
    First of all, THESE PICTURES! They're ssooo pretty and magical and capture-the-moment!! I love them. All of them. <3
    And I loved the post. Just sayin'. It was Just What I Needed. :D
    "It's very easy to be a criminal when you know the lock combination." Haha. Indeed. ;D
    Eww, the mouse tail one!! *shudder* I'd probably scream and jump if I did that!! Nothing would induce me to pick a dead one up (I could do a live one, if it was relatively clean, haha) unless I was in a horrid predicament like Anne was... ;)
    Oh, your skiing trip! Dear me, I can just imagine, haha! No wonder you were sore when you came back. :P
    And yay! I'm so glad your book is going well! I haven't touched mine since I finished the first draft, but that's mostly because I'm doing a Creative Writing course, and I'm writing a shorty story for that.
    Oh, your random idea was SO wonderful! I closed my eyes and pictured it. It WOULD be fun, although our post office isn't within walking distance, haha. ;) And I couldn't stop smiling at your excitement of that idea....I mean, really, how many other teenagers consider that such a wonderful idea?! (You're one of a kind, girl. Although I certainly can relate to what you're talking about, haha.)
    Ah, you DID go to the restaurant! :D
    Oh, it's such a comforting thought, knowing God is with you, protecting you, loving you, with every breath you take. I don't see how such an important fact can be forgotten so quickly (although I may add, I'm just as guilty of forgetting it as everyone else).
    Yes, math has a wonderful habit of ruining everyone's brains. I always have trouble when my Mum helps me with maths...we're both basically arguing with the instruction book, because it just DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. Haha. :P
    Oh, your header is GORGEOUS!!! I love the cat, and the gloves, and the fence, and the horse, and the dress, and her hair, and the lighting and basically everything. And the background is very pretty. It almost looks like pressed flowers. :)
    I haven't seen (much of) Forest Gump! Is it very good? Tom Hanks plays SO many different parts, haha!
    Thank you, my day is going quite well. Mostly because we just came back from our library. :D
    ~Miss Meg

    1. Awww, dont you hate that? Well, I'm glad you took the time to comment again. :-) (I would have missed it if you hadn't.)

      Thanks! It was just what I needed to write. ;-) Haha, I know -- it is a strange idea, and maybe not very exciting to most people, but it tickles me for some reason. I get tickled easily, I guess. I'm okay with that. :-)

      Ohh, Forrest Gump....IT'S AMAZING. (But it hurts.) Yes, he does! He's one of my favorite actors, actually.

      Thanks for your DELIGHTFUL long comment! :-)

  6. I loved this post! All those pictures and DEEP THOUGHTS :) I feel very overwhelmed at all the stories around me too . . . it makes it so very hard to focus. That's what those journal notebook things are for, to scribble hasty notes just so you won't forget :P

    1. Yeah, DEEP THOUGHTS. :-) I was in a very contemplative mood, I guess. Yes, thank goodness we can write all these thoughts and feelings down -- boyyyy, does it help.

  7. I love your new background!! :D And the new layout of your blog, too! Very nice, indeed!

    Haha! The story about your "broken" CD player! Hilarious! :) I'm glad you found out what the problem was before purchasing a new one. ;)

    Oh, and writing June instead of January in your journal because June is the name of the main character in your current novel. Haha! I guess it's obvious what's been on your brain lately! :) I'm glad you've been getting some inspiration for writing. That's always a good feeling.

    This was a delightful post, Emma!

    ~Miss March

    1. was a little embarrassing. (I was like "Mama, I won't be able to SURVIVE without my CD player!" ;-P) Haha, yes! And it was really funny because I remembered that I'd done the same thing in my journal last year, when I was working on the same book.

      Thank you, Miss March! :-)

  8. Happy Birthday Emma!

  9. Wow, this is so true. I love your blog and your pictures are beautiful! Did you take them yourself?

    1. Thank you! No, I didn't take the photos myself -- I just found them on Pinterest and thought they were beautiful.

    2. Oh, they really are! I think they really add to your posts :)

  10. Enchanting post, Emma!

    That thing about the CD player is much along the same lines as something I've done countless times. My parents gave me this ring a few years ago, and I never take it off, except for washing dishes and showers and such. So what happens is that when it isn't on my finger, my imagination goes out of control, I frantically try to think of every place I've been the last 24 hrs, I dash madly around the house, ask my long-suffering family if they've seen it, look in my garbage (you never know, right?) and finally give up, hoping my parents will get me a similar one. AND THEN GUESS WHAT I FIND IN MY POCKETS WHICH HAS BEEN THERE SINCE I TOOK IT OFF. My family may be long- suffering, but this has happened so often, they don't let me forget it.:) Yeah, I know that sheepish feeling all too well.;)

    ~Rilla Blythe

    1. Rilla Blythe is commenting on my blog?!? THIS IS AMAZING. *shakes hand enthusiastically* I'm a big fan of yours, miss. You have given me hope that fictional characters really DO exist (if only on the internet). ;-P

      Haha, that sounds familiar...I do that all too often, and then feel silly afterwards. ;-)

      Thank you! And thanks for commenting!

  11. "But the only way life and fiction are the same is that one imitates the other. Fiction imitates life, life doesn't imitate fiction." Oh, Emma, I love this!!

    Hahaha, I'm rather sorry your mother forbade you from writing about the ski sounds like a great story! :)

    "Oh, the glory of doing the unexpected." SO true!! And your "to do someday" idea is so beautiful. I love it. :) I can't wait to read Hattie Big Sky! Hopefully soon. :)

    This was a fun post-and beautifully written, as usual! You have such a way with words.

    ps. I love your blog background. :)

    1. Haha. Yes, I think she didn't want the full 'awkwardness' of the day to be's not that great of a story, really. But I am glad I can laugh about it now. ;-)

      Why, thank you! That means so much to me. :-)

    2. Definitely being able to laugh at "then" awkward or embarrassing moments is a good thing. ;)

      Aww, your welcome! And yes! Both books are on my TBR list now. :) (I'll read HBS first, I promise. ;))

  12. Whoops, hold on, I just realized my mistake. You were quoting Buttermilk Sky!!
    Well. I think I may need to put that on my TBR list too. :)

    1. Yes, do. It's quite darling. (Hattie Big Sky is better, though, so read that first. No, I'm not bossy.) ;-P

  13. Goodness! The beginning of this post *sits in awe* That is gorgeous, Emma! " I don't know, and chances are you don't know either. But in a moment of quiet peace, this is all I can come up with: God Is The Master Storyteller. Yes, with all the capital letters. He is the one who guides our steps, if we put away our human stubbornness long enough to let Him. His paths are best -- hasn't He shown us that? The stories I live, and the stories I make up inside my own little mind, why, they're just a gift from Him. He will show me my story when it's time, and from that, I'll be able to understand how to write the stories I yearn to bring alive." Gosh. I don't even know what to say!

    It makes me so happy that you used that picture :D I thought of you when I saw it. But then, we've already talked about this ;)

    Methinks I need to read Buttermilk Sky.

    "Your sister starts massaging your bunny" xD

    Oh, oh, THE CHRISTIAN CUSS WORDS. I KNOW RIGHT. So did you watch That's the Worst? I LOVE that so much :D That dvd is dangerous to one's health, but SO AWESOME.

    Lovely post, Emma!

    1. GOODNESS YOU ARE SO KIND. :-) Really, it felt so good to let all this out. I think it had been building inside me for awhile.

      Methinks every young girl with slightly fantastical dreams needs to read Buttermilk Sky.

      HAHA. Yeah, that was weird. I was like, "Sadie, what are you DOING to Cotton???"

      You've seen it too?! Isn't the man a genius? Yes, we watched That's the Worst. It's dangerous, I agree. Tim Hawkins is like the American Christian homeschooler's mascot. ;-P Have you seen any of his other dvd's?

      Thank you! Thanks for your comment, Olivia!

  14. Hello! Love your blog posts!
    My writing juices are down to zero. :/
    Tim Hawkins! Love the Atheist Kids' Songs.
    -The Girl With the Gold Pen

    1. Hey! Thanks. :-) Haha, those were hysterical. Oh, I hope you get your writing juices back up again! (Try reading good books. That always seems to help. Even if it doesn't -- hey, you've read a good book!)


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