Saturday, April 25, 2015

Glimpses of Life







    Whenever I go to write a post, there's always that awkward moment of staring at the screen, watching the cursor blink, that feeling of...oh, what do I even want to write? How to say what I want to say? A very hard job, breathing my feelings to life through words. But it's one that I love, so I reckon I'll keep at it.

    Truth is, I miss blogging about my silly, small, insignificant, crazy everyday life. I realized I haven't let you in on the adventure for quite a while (not that you would have any reason to care, but y'know...) For some reason, it gives me a sense of fullness, of deep-down joy to share my thoughts and fancies, the fleeting ones and the ones that take root deep down in my soul, with all of you. It's like unloading all the feelings that well up within me, examining them, admiring them, letting them air out in the open. So, dear reader, I give you a small glimpse of Life.


    I've spent most of April in a dress and mud boots, trudging around outside picking violets, sitting on fallen trees writing stories, sprawled out on the bridge reading crazy-good books that give me tingles all the way to my fingertips. Spring always gives me that renewed sense of freedom, making me feel like I can do whatever I want. (Of course, school still stands in the way, but there are ways of getting around it....) I admit, I'm a very independent-minded, I'll-do-what-I-want type of person. I know I won't be able to enjoy that luxury when I'm officially an adult, so I'm doing my best to live in the moment. :-D Really, these days are wonderful. Basically all I require to be happy is a warm sunny spring day, a good book, a pen and paper, some flowers, and a comfortable place to sit. Oh, and a song to sing.



   Sometimes it seems like I grew up while I wasn't looking. (I don't know where I was-- probably watching Downton Abbey. It happens.) Well, at any rate, I appear to be steadily getting older; and with that comes new and exciting adventures! One of them is that I CAN NOW DRIVE A CAR. Whaaaaat!!!!!! Yes, I'm learning to drive! It's terribly terrifying. ;-P But I'm told that'll pass, and before I know it it'll be second-nature. (I'm not seeing it yet, but then I've just started.)

    I'll always remember the night I had my first driving lesson. My super-awesome cousin was kind enough to lend me his car, and to point out which pedal was the gas and which was the break. (I started with a completely blank canvas, you see.) :-D I could not stop giggling, intoxicated with the thrill of driving, the novelty, the freedom.

   And no, I haven't done anything really stupid yet. Well, I did almost hit a tree, but I'd hardly say that counts. I was only within a few inches of it.


     As for something else exciting....(this requires dramatic introduction)....The time has come for me to tackle Lonesome Dove! *cue fangirling noises* I'd started it last spring, but after almost 200 pages I decided I wasn't really ready for it. (I love the book, but I'm not about to defend all the language and other icky-ness thrown in there.) But just last week, the urge hit me, and I knew it was time. I'm almost half done with it now. And people: it's so good. It's everything everyone claims it to be. It's an American epic, a classic western, a sprawling story of quirky people, good and evil, rough frontier life, complex human personalities. It's gold. Read it.



   Do you ever just want to be normal? Do fun things, have friends, go see a Nicholas Sparks movie in the theater just because Clint Eastwood's son is in it? Sometimes I think how lovely it might be to just take a break from being me. It gets exhausting from time to time, believe it or not. I feel like I would love to just break free for a while and try being 'normal' for a change, not invest myself so much in little things, stop being scared of big things, be more interesting, prettier, funnier. But....it's just a dream. There ain't nothing I can do about it. And you know, after I've dreamed my little dream, I realize just how much I like being 'me' anyway. I don't really want to give up any of that. Sure, I might have a secret wish of going to see Scott Eastwood in a movie, but when I really search my heart, normal is about the last place I want to be. God gave me this crazy spirit for a reason-- so I would use it to please Him. That in itself is a full-time job. :-)



A few of my favorite things in April....

~ The 1776 soundtrack

~ Wyatt Earp (review coming...eventually...) ;-D

~ mud boots

~ letters from dear friends, near and far....there's basically nothing better.

~ straw hats with pink ribbons

~ violets

~ Carry On, Mr. Bowditch-- such a good little book! Especially if you're interested in ships and maritime history and *ahem* stuff like that *ahem*....what are you looking at?

~ brownies. I made some the other day, and I didn't blow up anything. One must count one's blessings.

~ little perfume bottles that spill all over me when I try to use them but look pretty and antiquated on my dresser

~ a little black leather notebook, my new carry-everywhere companion. It needs a name, don't you think? I'm still musing on it...

This post of Michaela's, which is awesome! Go read it!

~ discovering new blogs and kindred spirits. I think I followed, like, five new blogs this month.

~ getting to know some swell girls better!

~ watching the Hornblower movies again. (this has got to be the, what, eighth or ninth time around? Are we crazy? Wait, no, don't answer that.) Short version, they're still just as good when you know every line, and I am still irreversibly in love with Archie Kennedy.

~ short, sweet little books that only take a day to read. In my book, those are the best. :-)

~ The Lincoln movie soundtrack....ohmysoul, this music just breathes Civil War. In a fit of madness, I ordered the piano score and I'm just sitting biting my nails until it gets here.

~ crazy, impromptu bike rides that turn out to be horrendous misadventures but at the same time ridiculous fun!

~ fits of fangirling delight with my sister Sadie, making up silly stories in bed, trying to mimic Hornblower characters' accents, planning our double wedding when she marries Horatio and I marry Archie....

~ those sweet, breezy moments of sunshine, birdsong, and stillness; sitting on the deck with a book or a pen, watching the creek flow, letting your hair get all tangled in the wind because it's too glorious a day to care what you might happen to look like.


     No, I don't want to be normal. Yes, I want to learn to do new things: I want to be confident, vivacious, and never afraid to laugh at things that are actually funny. I can melt at the sound of John Cullum's voice if I feel like it. I'll wear my favorite shirt day after day, I'll let the wind transform my hair into a bird's nest, I'll hang my head out the window of the car and sing Broadway songs as loudly as I can. I'll keep fawning over my fictional characters. I can be silly once in a while; I'm a girl, after all, and girls can do that. ;-D I want to hold tight to the One who made me who I am, but more importantly, Who keeps me His. Because really, that's all I want to be.




  Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity; at least while dreaming, we partake of the power of the Spirit, the infinite Godhead that creates the cosmos.

~Jackie Gleason

12 comments:

  1. "Whenever I go to write a post, there's always that awkward moment of staring at the screen, watching the cursor blink, that feeling of...oh, what do I even want to write?"

    Ohh!? You have that too?! You have that too?!!! I have that SO OFTEN. Not ALWAYS, but really often. It's like this awkward little moment between yourself and the screen. It's awkward.

    MY VIOLET IS DRIVING.

    So yeah, I want to read Lonesome Dove now. It's sounds REALLY good. I just hope it's a kind of Naomi-ish-story. Let me know in an email or something. :-)

    What do you mean? Like not-normal people can't have fun or have friends?!!! And besides, in my opinion there is no such thing as a normal person. :-)
    But I see what you mean to say.

    Yes, that post of Michaela's was really cool. I also love how her posts are so PRETTY.
    I don't think you're crazy about watching Hornblower for the 9th time. It's not THAT much. :-)
    If you were referring to my little book when you said that about short, sweet little books, you just made my day. :-) Thank you.

    This was a lovely, almost-leaving-me-teary-eyed kind of blog post. Well done. You really write well.

    ~ Naomi

    PS You changed your profile picture again! Why am I laughing, Emma?!

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  2. Naomi,

    Isn't it though? But once you get started the words flow easier. It's just that nail-biting, awkward first moment of-- aahhhh. That's what happens when I don't blog very often.

    Um...yeah, I'l let you know about LD in an email. IT'S SUCH A GOOD BOOK. But I don't think you'd like it very much, and I'll tell you why.

    OF COURSE that's not what I meant, and you know it. ;-P I just sometimes wonder what it would be like to be someone else, and not be constantly bombarded with my own feelings....haha. And yes, as far as I'm concerned, normal is only an appearance.

    Ehh, actually I wasn't thinking specifically of your story when I wrote that, but it certainly does qualify! I hope that still makes your day! :-)

    Nope, it's not weird to watch movies over and over again. Who would even think such a thing?

    Okay, I changed my picture because the other one of Barbara seemed too dark and boring, and I wanted something a little more exciting. But it's still Barbara, so it doesn't really count as changing it....does it? Haha. Yes, it does. You can laugh all you like.

    Thank you, Naomi. :-)

    ~Em

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  3. Fangirling is the best. It just is. End of story. :D

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  4. The 1776 soundtrack is sooo amazingly good! I don't prefer the broadway version; watching the movie is the best way to experience it in my opinion! I just sang "He Plays the Violin" in a music festival, and believe me, it was fun!:) Pink-ribboned hats and violets are very lovely as well!

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  5. I'm having the same post-inspiration trouble lately:-/ Maybe I should try one of these life posts...

    Your April sounds fantastic! I've spent it wasting my practice time at the piano by being distracted by the gorgeousness outside the window;) And other things, of course.

    I know how you feel. I usually wish I could be prettier or just cooler/more interesting/more level-headed, but ah me, I try to remember, like you, that God must have liked something about this crazy self of mine;) I feel the exact same way, often--I wish I weren't so dang-blasted immersed in the little stuff, and more open to big things:-/

    You're reading Lonesome Dove!!!:D I plan to read it later this summer:)

    (How come you get to be so photogenic? Not fair *pouts*)

    This post was all warm and fuzzy and heartwarming and all the good stuff that posts ought to be:)


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  6. Abby,

    I've only seen the movie, but I agree, it's wonderful! The cast is so great-- most of them don't have spectacular voices, but they're so real and dear and I love 'em. :-)

    Oh, cool! That sounds like so much fun. I'd love to play Martha Jefferson in the show someday. :-)

    Olivia,
    Haha, I get distracted by the piano, because it's right by my desk! :-D

    Yeah, once every so often I have those moments: why am I me? Ah, but there's a reason. I would like to be more level-headed, though!

    I'm about halfway through with LD-- it's just as good as the movie, if not better. Larry McMurtry's writing is absolutely beautiful, and the characters are so real-- almost startlingly so. I can't wait till you read it, so we can talk about it together! :-)

    Me? Photogenic?! Ha. Well, thanks!

    Oh, good. I'm glad. :-) Thank you for your sweet comment, Olivia!

    ~Emma

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  7. Carry On, Mr. Bowditch is lots of fun! I might even like it better than Captains Courageous :-o

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, I love the simple, old-timey feel of the writing. :-) I've never read Captains Courageous, but it sounds very familiar...should I know what it is?

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    2. "Captains Courageous" is by Rudyard Kipling, and also about a young man learning how to sail.

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  8. This was a very fun post! Being normal is something I wouldn't know about, and I'm very happy to say it. :) Good luck on driving practice! It can be quiet scary at first, but after a while, it's very fun.
    I really need to re-read "Carry on, Mr. Bowditch", and finish re-watching the Horatio Hornblower series. Right before we had to leave for school, My sister and I were almost to the Mutiny, which is like the best and the worst of them. Oh, Archie... *sigh* :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Bethany! :-) I'm beginning to experience the fun of driving (especially on sunny days :-)), but it's going to take a lot of getting used to.

      Ah, Mutiny. Yes, that's a good way to put it! My favorites in the series are probably Mutiny and Retribution, for....ahem...obvious reasons. ;-P There's nothing better than watching Hornblower with sisters! :-D

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