Everyone has those seasons in their life-- when things have lost their luster, inspiration is hard to come by, the days roll by in endless monotony, and nothing exciting seems to be on the horizon.
Late winter can often be a very boring time for me. It's easy to get the blues when you're stuck inside your house practically 24/7 and the mercury is dropping right out of the bottom of the thermometer. Spring fever usually hits about now, and my mind is populated with dreams of flowers and birds singing in the trees and green meadows and sunny skies and dust-- oh, glorious dust! But I have to wait. And if I'm perfectly honest, I hate waiting.
|Sometimes I totally feel like this.|
This year especially, the winter blues has hit me bad. And it's not only that; lately, I've been feeling my inspiration running low. That feeling of excitement that drives me. The passion to want to do awesome things, the motivation to get up at 5:30 in the morning and pour my emotions out into stories, the joy that keeps me smiling all day long. It's just...not there. I'm not sure where it went, because I had it just a little while ago. But lately-- yeah. I've just got the winter blues.
Do you ever feel like your imagination is just running short of fuel? As though you've completely used up everything that's in there, or else lost it somewhere and you don't know quite where to find it again? That's a problem I've rarely, if ever, had to deal with. But I find myself feeling rather dry lately. Maybe it's the transitions that are going on in my life; maybe it's the weight of commitment in what I want to accomplish; maybe it's just that life is rarely what I want it to be. It's so easy to get discouraged, isn't it? You think of one thing that's wrong, pretty soon a hundred others follow, until it's just overwhelming. That's why it's so important not to fall into that trap.
I'm trying to remember that there are always things to be grateful for. Yes, even in February! Even when I'm low on inspiration for my writing, even when my house is a mess, even when the bottom drops out of the thermometer. When I think about how God has blessed me, all the stupid little things that drag me down start to fade.
So I guess this is one of my semi-frequent writer's block rants. ;-P Inspiration ebbs and flows; it'll come back. (Hopefully soon!) I need to not worry about it. So what if I haven't touched my novel in four days? I can come back to it, and I can write like crazy in the next four days. There's always tomorrow. But more importantly, there's today. I need to stop chasing after aching dreams of springtime and revel in the beauty of now. God made this cold, gray, stuffy day just like he made the warm sunshiney happy days of summer. I can't waste it just because I'm sick of snow and cold.
And perhaps this is a time in my life when I should be paying attention and learning things, and not complaining and bemoaning what I don't have. News Flash: Sometimes it's good to give your writing a break. (Though it may feel like it's slowly killing you at the same time, which is what I've been experiencing!) I can go back to it with a renewed energy and motivation, new ideas and fresh inspiration. Just like Mr. Plornish says: "Ups and downs, Mr. Clennam. Ups and downs."
Well, as the unsinkable Molly Brown says: "I ain't down yet."
And I ain't.
Even in the dead of winter there are rays of sunlight. Even in the darkest moments, ideas timidly push themselves into my head. And spring will come soon! I won't lose hope, because spring will come soon. My imagination is just....molting. That's it. This is a transition stage. It's hormones. I'll be okay. ;-)
And so I will read good books and eat popcorn and write what I can and watch
"It will come sometime. Some beautiful morning she will just wake up and find it is Tomorrow. Not Today but Tomorrow. And then things will happen...wonderful things." ~L.M. Montgomery