"The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been."
So today I am sixteen. What.
I suppose it shouldn't surprise me; after all I have been fifteen for a year, and sixteen is usually what comes next. But for some reason it feels very big. I'm a whole year older than I was last year at this time. I've done so many things I'd never done before, met people, made friendships, learned things, lived. And I feel a giddy excitement for this what my next year will hold.
Sixteen feels like a very important birthday. I'm halfway between being a child and being a grown-up person now-- I can act older, I can learn how to drive, I can do a lot of things I've had to wait to be sixteen to do. I am also now the same age as Jane Austin's youngest heroine, Marianne Dashwood, which is a small consolation to not being the same age as Mattie Ross anymore. (Of course, I haven't been the same age as Mattie for a year. For a while I felt like I'd just always be fourteen, because Mattie Ross was fourteen, and so was I, and it was just gonna stay that way, but then it didn't.) ;-)
I'm also the same age as Anne Shirley, which makes me happy. It also makes me feel like I have a lot to live up to in the next year, heehee.
I'M ALMOST AN ADULT, PEOPLE. Gaahhh. It's kind of scary. Maybe I should start acting more sophisticated. But I'm still young enough that I can do silly things, and people will excuse it because, after all, "I'm sixteen." I can still stand on my desk and sing along loudly to the Wicked soundtrack. I can still act out ridiculous dramas with my stuffed animals in bed at night with my sister. I can still sing Veggie Tales songs when the mood hits. Things don't really have to change, of course. I'll always be somewhat crazy, you understand, no matter how old I get. ;-P Likely I'll still be wildly fangirling over Hornblower when I'm 30. (I can't wait!)
Speaking of which, my sister and I were observing recently how the coolest people seem to be in their 30's. Anyone else notice that? I can't wait till I'm 30. Then maybe I'll be 'cute and interesting'. (*ahem* that's an inside joke between sisters, *ahem*)
But I do have a good feeling that I'm finally learning some very important things about growing up. I'm a much more sensible person than I was two years ago-- even one year ago. I'm stronger, more resilient, and my imagination has grown by leaps and bounds. (I have several people to thank for that) :-) I've been made a better person by the good books I've read, the experiences I've had and all the friendships I've made.
When I was younger, I kind of tried to grow up before I needed to. I remember very often being discontent with myself, trying to be someone I wasn't. I tried to grow up too fast, but I didn't know that what I needed was to grow into myself. Sometimes I didn't know how to be a child when I was one, and now I finally understand how, it's too late and I'm well on my way to being a full-blown grown-up person. (What a thought!) But I can't dwell on regrets, because that'll get me nowhere. It's all in the past and I've lived, and I'm still living, and each day is new and that's what I'm grateful for. I'm not a grown-up, not yet. I still have many years of frolicking and dreaming and wishing and prancing and all that. And even when I am older, I'll still be dreaming and wishing. I'll be dreaming and wishing my whole life. Who knows what tomorrow may bring? ;-)
|Maybe a handsome man who will carry me home through a rainstorm....kidding. ;-P|
I have the feeling I'm really going to like being sixteen. Then again, I haven't been any age where I actually disliked it. Fourteen and fifteen have definitely been some of the best, and now I have high hopes for sixteen. This year I hope to finish my first novel, get a role in another musical, learn how to drive...and maybe even meet my best friend in person. Yes, I have high hopes. :-)
"....If the path set before her feet was to be narrow, she knew that flowers of quiet happiness would bloom along it. The joys of sincere work and worthy aspiration and congenial friendship were hers; nothing could rob her of her birthright of fancy or her ideal world of dreams."
~L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
Thank you, Lord, for giving me sixteen. :-)