You know when you feel like you should be writing, you WANT to be writing, you have things you want to write...but for some reason or another, you just can't? Welcome to Today in Emma's world. All day it seems as though I've been waiting for a quiet moment, searching for a quiet spot, trying to get everything I need to do DONE so that I can concentrate on my writing. And then when I get there, finish my school and my chores, open my notebook, and write the words, "Chapter 10".....nothing happens. No words come to me. It's like I'm a well that's dried up, to use the oft-quoted adage. I just can't write.
Then I get distracted by other things.....mostly, dreaming of writing (and this big thing by my desk called The Piano). I think about my characters all the time. I think about what I want to write, but I'm either not there yet in the story (and heaven forbid I should jump ahead of myself!) or I'm not sure about the idea yet, not sure if that's how I want things to go, or maybe I should do it this way instead., and....ARGH. It's exhausting, being me. I exhaust myself.
The hardest part, I think, is finding the time. No, not 'having' the time-- I have the time, but I have to find it. I have to stop doing other things that aren't as important. Deep down, I know what I want to be doing-- what I NEED to be doing. But it's so much easier to just prance through the day, playing the piano when I have a spare moment, laughing with my sisters, frittering away time on Blogger and Pinterest....instead of what actually needs to happen, which is me sitting down at my desk (no, not ON my desk), taking my pen and paper, and bleeding. Er, I mean, writing.
|For once, the old boy and I share the same sentiments.|
If I'm learning anything from these struggles (and I am, you better believe I am), it's that the hardest things are really what prove to be the most worthwhile. The very fact that this is so difficult for me has me convinced more than ever that this is what I was born to do. I AM a writer. I'm just....not quite there yet. I'm still struggling. Then again, I don't think there will ever be an end to the struggling, but I know it will come easier with time to get myself in line and set down a legit schedule (ooh, wonder what that word means?) that will help me get into the habit of writing (and writing a lot) every single stinkin' day. Because some days I don't, at all. I know, it's shameful, and I feel awful when I go to bed with the sinking despair of knowing I have nothing in writing to show for the day. (In the way of fiction, that is, because I write down thoughts and bits of nonsense basically every single day). Of course, every day isn't like this one-- some days I'm good, but some days I'm just all over the place and can't get myself to calm down and sit for long enough to get anything of value done. Like I said, sometimes it's so frustrating I want to just scream and pull out all my hair. (Don't worry, I don't actually do that.) But that's all part of the journey. It's got to get worse before it gets better. It's not a crime for a writer to let a day go by without working on her novel, even though she herself might feel like it. ;-P I just have to take a deep breath, tell myself this feeling of insurmountable frustration will pass. I've got to just trust the Lord that if it's meant to be, it'll darn well be. And I can console myself that I can always try again tomorrow. Because after all, tomorrow is another day.
So there's my rant for the day. ;-P And boy, does it feel good to get that out! Whew. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. *Emma perks up* Besides the ol' writer' block, it really hasn't been that bad of a day-- actually, it's been a very good day in most all other respects. I'm very happy, despite the fact that I have been unable to write anything of substance for two days, and the lamentable lack of a certain white phenomena called snow.....;-P I just needed to get that off my chest.
So! I know I haven't been blogging much lately.....I've been, well, preoccupied. This week especially is super busy, with concerts and schoolwork and rehearsals and blah-de-blah-de-blah. Fun stuff. Last week was pretty crammed too, come to think of it. Heh. But I did manage to finish an entirely AMAZING book by the name of Celia Garth, and I finally got to watch Walk the Line, which. was. amazing. And we went to see a local Living Christmas Tree show, which was beautiful as always. Christmas is getting closer! Eeeep, I'm so excited!!!! I'm hoping to be blogging more in the near future, because I've got lots of thoughts to share and posts I want to write, and I miss sharing those with all you lovely ladies! *Emma immediately starts thinking of a Les Mis song* Ooops, I didn't mean to do that. How about we say "charming" ladies instead. That's better. Anyway, I hope you all are having a fabulous December, and looking forward to Christmas!!!
|Me and my cousin Katie on Thanksgiving|
Seriously, I value you all so much! I hope to share some of the fun things happening this Christmas season here on 'the blog' with y'all. I'm thinking of maybe even making a vlog, about my favorite Christmas memories. I've never made a vlog before, but I've recently discovered that I can take videos on Cal (my laptop), and I'm going to try it and see how it works. Not promising anything, but here's to hoping. :-) Anyway, have a good week, and hope to 'see' you all soon!